1 00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:11,206 - And the commercial would begin with a cartoon version 2 00:00:11,275 --> 00:00:13,931 of you who keeps popping up and talking about all the deals 3 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,241 you have at Mr. Alvin's. 4 00:00:15,310 --> 00:00:16,241 - [gravelly voice] Oh, I love that. 5 00:00:16,310 --> 00:00:17,517 Looks just like me. 6 00:00:17,586 --> 00:00:19,172 - Yeah, we figured that he'd keep on 7 00:00:19,241 --> 00:00:20,551 popping up and he'd be like, 8 00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:21,793 [gravelly voice] "Come on down to Mr. Alvin's. 9 00:00:21,862 --> 00:00:24,379 We've got FILA 29, or two for 50." 10 00:00:24,448 --> 00:00:27,413 - [gravelly voice] "Nike, 29 or two for 50." 11 00:00:27,482 --> 00:00:29,620 - Why does he sound like that? 12 00:00:29,689 --> 00:00:30,827 - I'm sorry? 13 00:00:30,896 --> 00:00:33,000 - Why does the cartoon sound like that? 14 00:00:33,068 --> 00:00:35,862 - Oh, he doesn't. 15 00:00:35,931 --> 00:00:37,275 - Yeah. [stammering] 16 00:00:37,344 --> 00:00:38,379 You do. You sound like that. 17 00:00:38,448 --> 00:00:40,862 - That's right. 18 00:00:40,931 --> 00:00:42,689 - I like the cartoon. 19 00:00:42,758 --> 00:00:45,965 Just don't make him sound all stupid and shit. 20 00:00:46,034 --> 00:00:48,241 - Have you heard your voice? 21 00:00:48,310 --> 00:00:51,172 - That is our eighth yes in a row! 22 00:00:51,241 --> 00:00:53,689 - My friend, we are officially on a hot streak. 23 00:00:53,758 --> 00:00:55,068 - Officially! - Officially! 24 00:00:55,137 --> 00:00:56,965 - Gentlemen, are you ready to go to dinner? 25 00:00:57,034 --> 00:00:58,655 - What are you talking about? 26 00:00:58,724 --> 00:00:59,517 - Oh sh-- 27 00:00:59,586 --> 00:01:00,655 Oh, yes. - No. 28 00:01:00,724 --> 00:01:01,862 - That's right. - Dinner. 29 00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:03,344 - Oh, your anniversary dinner! 30 00:01:03,413 --> 00:01:05,137 Oh, well, two reasons to celebrate! 31 00:01:05,206 --> 00:01:06,344 Shall we go? 32 00:01:06,413 --> 00:01:08,931 - Guys, you're dressed like shit. 33 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:09,965 - Yeah, but you look like 34 00:01:10,034 --> 00:01:11,172 you're about to go on the Titanic. 35 00:01:11,241 --> 00:01:13,206 - Oh, boom, beast. Let's go. 36 00:01:13,275 --> 00:01:15,275 - Come on, let's go! - Come on now! 37 00:01:16,413 --> 00:01:19,275 [gentle music] 38 00:01:19,344 --> 00:01:20,620 - I guess you didn't like your food. 39 00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:22,137 - Then why'd I finish it, butt-munch? 40 00:01:22,206 --> 00:01:24,379 - Don't be an asshole. 41 00:01:25,862 --> 00:01:26,896 To Sheila! 42 00:01:26,965 --> 00:01:29,758 And her 50 years with the company! 43 00:01:29,827 --> 00:01:33,137 - That old gray mare is still what she used to be. 44 00:01:33,206 --> 00:01:34,517 - [laughing] 45 00:01:34,586 --> 00:01:36,310 - You must have seen it all. 46 00:01:36,379 --> 00:01:38,689 - Yeah, what was it like back when you started, Sheila? 47 00:01:38,758 --> 00:01:41,172 - It was the golden age of advertising. 48 00:01:41,241 --> 00:01:43,862 And your father was the best. 49 00:01:43,931 --> 00:01:45,931 I even had my moment. 50 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,758 Did you know I came up 51 00:01:47,827 --> 00:01:51,482 with the tagline for Wick's pantyhose? 52 00:01:51,551 --> 00:01:55,482 "Control top to make him lose control." 53 00:01:55,551 --> 00:01:57,724 - [chuckles] That's pretty racy. 54 00:01:57,793 --> 00:02:01,482 - I was talking about making the man ejaculate early. 55 00:02:01,551 --> 00:02:03,068 - Oh, cool. - Mm-hmm. 56 00:02:03,137 --> 00:02:06,551 - Of course there was no credit and I wasn't paid, 57 00:02:06,620 --> 00:02:08,724 because I was just a secretary. 58 00:02:08,793 --> 00:02:10,000 It was a different world back then. 59 00:02:10,068 --> 00:02:12,413 Sam, you would've had a hell of a time. 60 00:02:12,482 --> 00:02:13,931 - Oh, I know. - Yeah, we all would've. 61 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:14,965 - Well-- 62 00:02:15,034 --> 00:02:16,034 - We all would've had a bad time. 63 00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:18,103 - Not the same. 64 00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:20,413 Well, happy 50th, Sheila. 65 00:02:20,482 --> 00:02:22,379 - And happy hot streak! 66 00:02:22,448 --> 00:02:24,172 - Eight in a row, baby! 67 00:02:24,241 --> 00:02:25,620 [laughter] 68 00:02:25,689 --> 00:02:26,965 - Gentlemen, thank you. 69 00:02:27,034 --> 00:02:29,689 You've made an old lady very, very drunk. 70 00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:31,482 - We'll walk you out. - No, no, no, no, no. 71 00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:33,172 We got that big pitch tomorrow. 72 00:02:33,241 --> 00:02:34,931 We have to get hammered so we can get a good night's rest. 73 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,448 - Oh, that's right. You know how to get out, Sheila. 74 00:02:36,517 --> 00:02:37,724 Same way you came in, just backwards. 75 00:02:37,793 --> 00:02:38,965 - You good to get home? 76 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,275 You're gonna take an Uber, right? 77 00:02:40,344 --> 00:02:41,689 - Oh, yeah. 78 00:02:42,793 --> 00:02:44,068 - This beer's giving me heartburn. 79 00:02:44,137 --> 00:02:46,379 I gotta switch over to Bob Seger's diet tequila. 80 00:02:46,448 --> 00:02:48,689 - Yeah, me too. Excuse me, waiter? 81 00:02:48,758 --> 00:02:50,896 Can we have two "Light Moves," please? 82 00:02:50,965 --> 00:02:54,068 [upbeat music] 83 00:02:54,137 --> 00:02:55,620 - Tim Cramblin? 84 00:02:55,689 --> 00:02:57,689 - Yes, I'm Tim Cramblin. - Come on, asshole. 85 00:02:57,758 --> 00:02:59,275 - Yep, I'm Tim Cramblin, and I'm gonna take a dump 86 00:02:59,344 --> 00:03:00,793 in the backseat of your car. 87 00:03:00,862 --> 00:03:02,689 - Don't you take a dump back there, Tim Cramblin! 88 00:03:02,758 --> 00:03:03,896 - Oh, I'm gonna. - Asshole! 89 00:03:03,965 --> 00:03:05,620 Stop trying to lower my rating! 90 00:03:05,689 --> 00:03:08,344 ♪ ♪ 91 00:03:08,413 --> 00:03:13,517 - ♪ Next time when they ask you where you're from ♪ 92 00:03:13,586 --> 00:03:15,068 ♪ You gonna say Detroit City ♪ 93 00:03:15,137 --> 00:03:17,724 ♪ Where we get you back on your feet ♪ 94 00:03:17,793 --> 00:03:20,310 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 95 00:03:20,379 --> 00:03:23,379 - When we get in there, let me do the talking. 96 00:03:23,448 --> 00:03:24,827 - Why? 97 00:03:24,896 --> 00:03:26,275 - Let me do some of the talking. 98 00:03:26,344 --> 00:03:27,310 - Well, yeah. 99 00:03:27,379 --> 00:03:28,448 [laughter] 100 00:03:28,517 --> 00:03:29,655 - Aw, damn it! 101 00:03:29,724 --> 00:03:31,551 Ryan Lepchek from Doner Advertising. 102 00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:32,965 - We're dead. 103 00:03:33,034 --> 00:03:35,551 - Oh my God. Tim! Sam. 104 00:03:35,620 --> 00:03:37,137 - Suck it, Lepchek! 105 00:03:37,206 --> 00:03:38,448 - Suck it, Cramblin! 106 00:03:38,517 --> 00:03:40,482 Wow, pitching the Science Center, huh? 107 00:03:40,551 --> 00:03:41,724 It's certainly a step up for you fellas. 108 00:03:41,793 --> 00:03:44,241 - Step down for you. - [laughs] 109 00:03:44,310 --> 00:03:47,931 - Oh, okay. Well, look, good luck in there, all right? 110 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,517 And good on you guys, swinging for the fences. 111 00:03:50,586 --> 00:03:52,137 - Bad on you, swinging an aluminum bat 112 00:03:52,206 --> 00:03:53,137 to the back of your head. 113 00:03:53,206 --> 00:03:56,310 - Boom! You're a vegetable! 114 00:03:56,379 --> 00:03:57,413 [laughter] 115 00:03:57,482 --> 00:03:59,034 - Thank God we're not at the zoo. 116 00:03:59,103 --> 00:04:00,965 That place stinks like shit! 117 00:04:01,034 --> 00:04:02,965 [laughter] 118 00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:06,482 - Detroit Zoo is a prison for animals! 119 00:04:06,551 --> 00:04:08,206 [laughter] 120 00:04:08,275 --> 00:04:11,103 [funky music] 121 00:04:11,172 --> 00:04:13,344 - Nine in a row! 122 00:04:13,413 --> 00:04:16,517 - The Science Center is another level! 123 00:04:16,586 --> 00:04:18,793 - Yeah, man! It's the Science Center! 124 00:04:18,862 --> 00:04:20,517 We beat Ryan Lepchek from Doner! 125 00:04:20,586 --> 00:04:22,482 - With a yes in the room! 126 00:04:22,551 --> 00:04:23,482 - Uh-huh. 127 00:04:23,551 --> 00:04:24,827 ♪ ♪ 128 00:04:24,896 --> 00:04:26,241 - You want to ride it again? One more time? 129 00:04:26,310 --> 00:04:27,862 - Yeah, let's ride it again. - One more time. 130 00:04:27,931 --> 00:04:29,137 - One more time and then we'll come back up 131 00:04:29,206 --> 00:04:30,620 and then do it another time after that. 132 00:04:30,689 --> 00:04:32,379 - It's gonna be okay, Sheila. 133 00:04:32,448 --> 00:04:34,758 - It took me a while to realize it was perfume and not cologne. 134 00:04:34,827 --> 00:04:36,586 I still like it. - I think you're good to go. 135 00:04:36,655 --> 00:04:37,931 - Why didn't you call her a cab? 136 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,827 - What? Sheila, what happened? 137 00:04:39,896 --> 00:04:43,344 - She got a DUI after your dinner last night. 138 00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:46,103 - Sheila, we asked you if you were gonna take an Uber, 139 00:04:46,172 --> 00:04:47,241 and you said yes! 140 00:04:47,310 --> 00:04:49,724 - I don't know what Uber is! 141 00:04:49,793 --> 00:04:51,103 - Why did you say yes? 142 00:04:51,172 --> 00:04:52,689 - I didn't want to seem old! 143 00:04:52,758 --> 00:04:54,586 - Oh, Sheila, you're not old. 144 00:04:54,655 --> 00:04:57,586 - Uh, Tommy, Sheila is old, so... 145 00:04:57,655 --> 00:05:00,448 - You know what, Sheila? We'll get you a lawyer. 146 00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:03,448 We'll take care of everything. 147 00:05:03,517 --> 00:05:04,793 - Tommy, not the head! 148 00:05:04,862 --> 00:05:06,275 - Not the head, Tommy. - Tommy. 149 00:05:06,344 --> 00:05:10,896 Okay, so I've narrowed it down to two lawyers. 150 00:05:10,965 --> 00:05:13,620 - Do you know your rights? Because I do. 151 00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:16,034 If you are weak, I will fight for you. 152 00:05:16,103 --> 00:05:18,965 And if you are strong, we will fight together. 153 00:05:19,034 --> 00:05:21,413 I am Joumana Kayrouz. 154 00:05:21,482 --> 00:05:23,000 [whip cracks] 155 00:05:23,068 --> 00:05:26,379 - I like her. - Yeah. Check this guy out. 156 00:05:26,448 --> 00:05:30,827 - Have you been injured in an accident or a slip and fall? 157 00:05:30,896 --> 00:05:33,137 Call me, Walt Worsch. 158 00:05:33,206 --> 00:05:34,551 I'll try my best. 159 00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:36,413 - I got hit by a city bus, 160 00:05:36,482 --> 00:05:40,793 and Walt got me some of the money I asked for. 161 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,862 - I got arrested for drunk driving. 162 00:05:42,931 --> 00:05:45,551 I got found guilty and served six months. 163 00:05:45,620 --> 00:05:48,551 But I could tell Walt tried as hard as he could. 164 00:05:48,620 --> 00:05:50,448 He even cussed when we lost. 165 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,965 - Call 313-Waltries. 166 00:05:53,034 --> 00:05:56,931 I'm Walt Worsch, and I try my best. 167 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,413 - He included a testimonial from a guy who lost? 168 00:05:59,482 --> 00:06:00,758 - Yeah. 169 00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:02,068 - I mean, I think we gotta go with Joumana. 170 00:06:02,137 --> 00:06:04,827 - Whoa, wait a minute. Look at this. 171 00:06:04,896 --> 00:06:08,103 Walt Worsch has an "April in the D" video? 172 00:06:08,172 --> 00:06:09,758 - Hey, what's up, Detroit? 173 00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:11,448 It's April in the D, that magical month 174 00:06:11,517 --> 00:06:13,068 when the Pistons, Red Wings, and the Tigers 175 00:06:13,137 --> 00:06:14,793 are all playing at the same time. 176 00:06:14,862 --> 00:06:18,448 This is my video submission for the Fox Sports Detroit 177 00:06:18,517 --> 00:06:19,827 theme song contest. 178 00:06:19,896 --> 00:06:21,517 Please vote for me. Check it out. 179 00:06:21,586 --> 00:06:23,517 ♪ Pistons and Tigers and Red Wings oh my ♪ 180 00:06:23,586 --> 00:06:25,482 ♪ It's April in the D ♪ 181 00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:28,931 ♪ Three Detroit sports teams playing at one time ♪ 182 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:33,103 ♪ All Detroit ladies looking oh so fine ♪ 183 00:06:33,172 --> 00:06:36,724 ♪ ♪ 184 00:06:36,793 --> 00:06:38,379 - He is so confident. 185 00:06:38,448 --> 00:06:41,344 - I meant that's how he should be in his ads, right? 186 00:06:41,413 --> 00:06:43,379 ♪ ♪ 187 00:06:43,448 --> 00:06:47,379 - Ooh, you know what? If we hire him to represent Sheila, 188 00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:48,724 that would be a foot in the door for his business. 189 00:06:48,793 --> 00:06:50,241 - Uh-huh. 190 00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:53,344 - And if we got his business, that would be ten in a row. 191 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,551 - Ten in a row. 192 00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:59,068 - ♪ It's April in the D ♪ 193 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,896 Well, I'll do my best, guys, 194 00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:04,793 but I can't make any promises. 195 00:07:04,862 --> 00:07:06,103 DUIs are tough. 196 00:07:06,172 --> 00:07:08,344 - Will they take away my driver's license? 197 00:07:08,413 --> 00:07:09,862 - I do not know. 198 00:07:09,931 --> 00:07:11,413 Look, to be honest, 199 00:07:11,482 --> 00:07:14,344 I'm kind of a mack when it comes to dog bites. 200 00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:16,965 When the officer pulled you over, did you get bit by a dog? 201 00:07:17,034 --> 00:07:19,758 - No. - Oh, crap. 202 00:07:19,827 --> 00:07:22,275 'Cause I'm kind of a mack at dog bites. 203 00:07:22,344 --> 00:07:24,827 - Gentlemen, shall we go? - Oh, hold on a minute. 204 00:07:24,896 --> 00:07:27,000 He didn't say he was bad at DUIs. 205 00:07:27,068 --> 00:07:28,655 He just said he's a mack at dog bites. 206 00:07:28,724 --> 00:07:30,379 - Kind of a mack. - Kind of a mack. 207 00:07:30,448 --> 00:07:32,172 - Thank you for your time, Walter. 208 00:07:32,241 --> 00:07:34,482 But we really need to meet with other lawyers 209 00:07:34,551 --> 00:07:35,827 before we make a decision. 210 00:07:35,896 --> 00:07:37,655 - Now hold on, Sheila. I mean, after all, 211 00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:39,103 we are footing the bill here. 212 00:07:39,172 --> 00:07:41,689 And I think Walter here might secretly be 213 00:07:41,758 --> 00:07:42,965 the best lawyer in town. 214 00:07:43,034 --> 00:07:45,137 - I'm not. I'm not. 215 00:07:45,206 --> 00:07:48,724 - Look, Walt, we--we saw your "April in the D" video. 216 00:07:48,793 --> 00:07:50,344 - Oh, boy. 217 00:07:50,413 --> 00:07:52,620 - And it's breathtaking. 218 00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:55,068 I mean, you exude confidence. - Yeah, you ooze it. 219 00:07:55,137 --> 00:07:57,448 But in your commercials you come off a little bit stiff. 220 00:07:57,517 --> 00:07:59,827 And in person. - But we can help with that. 221 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:01,344 - That's not why we're here. - Shh. 222 00:08:01,413 --> 00:08:04,344 - You see, we run a small advertising firm 223 00:08:04,413 --> 00:08:07,034 that's on a little bit of a hot streak. 224 00:08:07,103 --> 00:08:09,172 - Oh, really. Would I know any of your clients? 225 00:08:09,241 --> 00:08:12,000 - Um...the Michigan Science Center. 226 00:08:12,068 --> 00:08:16,413 - Whoa. The Science Center? Holy shit! 227 00:08:16,482 --> 00:08:18,448 What are those guys really like? 228 00:08:18,517 --> 00:08:19,758 - They're honestly so nice. 229 00:08:19,827 --> 00:08:21,620 - I knew it. - Mm-hmm. 230 00:08:21,689 --> 00:08:22,862 - So what do you say, Walt? 231 00:08:22,931 --> 00:08:24,896 How about you let us put that rock star 232 00:08:24,965 --> 00:08:26,827 from that "April in the D" video 233 00:08:26,896 --> 00:08:30,448 in a commercial for your law firm? 234 00:08:30,517 --> 00:08:32,689 - Ms. Portnadi, it looks like you got yourself a lawyer. 235 00:08:32,758 --> 00:08:36,241 And if we're being 100, it would help me out a ton 236 00:08:36,310 --> 00:08:39,034 if you get bit by a dog between now and the court date. 237 00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:41,724 - I'm not getting bit by a dog. 238 00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:43,896 - Okay, well, I wouldn't be doing my job 239 00:08:43,965 --> 00:08:45,448 if I didn't suggest it. 240 00:08:45,517 --> 00:08:48,206 And really, between you and I, it's really easy. 241 00:08:48,275 --> 00:08:51,068 Just wait until they're eating, and then you grab their crotch. 242 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:55,241 So...yeah. 243 00:08:55,310 --> 00:08:57,241 [hip hop music] 244 00:08:57,310 --> 00:09:01,448 - Ten in a row! - Walt Worsch, baby! 245 00:09:01,517 --> 00:09:04,137 ♪ ♪ 246 00:09:06,137 --> 00:09:09,379 - I'm Walt Worsch. - ♪ 313-Waltries ♪ 247 00:09:09,448 --> 00:09:11,551 - Have you been the victim of an accident or a bite? 248 00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:13,310 [gavel bangs] 249 00:09:13,379 --> 00:09:15,344 - I will fight for you. - ♪ 313-Waltries ♪ 250 00:09:15,413 --> 00:09:16,620 [gavel bangs] 251 00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:18,862 - And I always try my best. 252 00:09:18,931 --> 00:09:21,793 - ♪ 313-Waltries ♪ 253 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:23,275 ♪ ♪ 254 00:09:23,344 --> 00:09:28,344 ♪ 313-Waltries, I try my best ♪ 255 00:09:34,517 --> 00:09:36,689 - That one's ours. 256 00:09:36,758 --> 00:09:38,379 - Excuse me, ma'am? 257 00:09:38,448 --> 00:09:40,724 That commercial that just played, ours! 258 00:09:40,793 --> 00:09:43,482 - A local man is in dire need of a kidney tonight 259 00:09:43,551 --> 00:09:45,793 and he's not telling anyone why. 260 00:09:45,862 --> 00:09:48,448 But first, a different story. - Excuse me. 261 00:09:48,517 --> 00:09:49,793 Do you know what this meeting is about? 262 00:09:49,862 --> 00:09:51,344 - I don't. 263 00:09:51,413 --> 00:09:53,344 - Oh, well, they were very vague on the phone, so... 264 00:09:53,413 --> 00:09:55,241 - Well, I'm sorry. I can't help you. 265 00:09:55,310 --> 00:09:56,827 - Well, you should get some desk candies 266 00:09:56,896 --> 00:09:58,241 that don't taste like medicine. 267 00:09:58,310 --> 00:09:59,517 - That is my medicine. 268 00:09:59,586 --> 00:10:01,517 - Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. [gags] 269 00:10:01,586 --> 00:10:03,137 I'm so sorry I ate all your medicine. But you know what? 270 00:10:03,206 --> 00:10:04,517 You shouldn't keep 'em on the desk like that, 271 00:10:04,586 --> 00:10:06,103 so really it's both of our faults, really. 272 00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:07,551 - Yeah, it's both your fault. It's both your fault! 273 00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:09,965 - ♪ Tim and Sam ♪ 274 00:10:10,034 --> 00:10:12,586 Get up here. Can we get you anything? 275 00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:13,793 - I'll take a Vernors. 276 00:10:13,862 --> 00:10:14,758 - Vernors. I'll take a Vernors. 277 00:10:14,827 --> 00:10:16,034 Do you have any chips? 278 00:10:18,413 --> 00:10:20,551 - You guys enjoying your Vernors? 279 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,896 - [coughing] 280 00:10:23,965 --> 00:10:25,310 Yeah, I just drank it too fast. 281 00:10:25,379 --> 00:10:26,827 - Yeah, you can't slug it too fast, or the bubbles-- 282 00:10:26,896 --> 00:10:28,103 - The bubbles. - [clearing throat] 283 00:10:28,172 --> 00:10:29,551 - So what's this all about? 284 00:10:29,620 --> 00:10:31,413 You pissed because we got the Science Center? 285 00:10:31,482 --> 00:10:34,241 - Yeah, looks like we swung for the fences, 286 00:10:34,310 --> 00:10:37,482 and your ass struck out. - [laughter] 287 00:10:37,551 --> 00:10:41,068 - We would like to buy Cramblin Duvet. 288 00:10:44,620 --> 00:10:46,137 - Is this a joke? 289 00:10:46,206 --> 00:10:48,482 - 'Cause if it is a joke, I just want to say that I get it. 290 00:10:48,551 --> 00:10:50,413 I get the joke, and I'm in on it also. 291 00:10:50,482 --> 00:10:52,000 And it's hilarious. - No. 292 00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,241 No, it's not a joke. 293 00:10:53,310 --> 00:10:54,827 It's--you guys are up-and-coming, okay? 294 00:10:54,896 --> 00:10:57,413 We want to get in on it before everyone else realizes. 295 00:10:57,482 --> 00:11:00,620 At Doner, we believe if you can't beat them, 296 00:11:00,689 --> 00:11:02,448 you buy 'em. 297 00:11:03,724 --> 00:11:06,413 - What does--what does this mean, exactly? 298 00:11:06,482 --> 00:11:09,586 You'd own Cramblin Duvet-- - Correct. Mm-hmm. 299 00:11:09,655 --> 00:11:11,310 - So what would we do? 300 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,103 We'd own Doner. - We'd own Doner, right. 301 00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,862 Yeah. That's interesting. 302 00:11:14,931 --> 00:11:16,068 - Then yeah, I'll do it. 303 00:11:16,137 --> 00:11:18,068 - It's not a trade. 304 00:11:18,137 --> 00:11:19,275 - Yeah, we know. 305 00:11:19,344 --> 00:11:21,413 - Yeah, I know. I'm not stupid. 306 00:11:21,482 --> 00:11:22,965 - Basically, you would be getting paid 307 00:11:23,034 --> 00:11:24,413 to do exactly what you've been doing, 308 00:11:24,482 --> 00:11:27,034 you would just be doing it for Doner. 309 00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:29,344 - And--and we would keep our name? 310 00:11:29,413 --> 00:11:31,310 - No, we would change the name. 311 00:11:31,379 --> 00:11:32,965 - Team Viper. - Excuse me? 312 00:11:33,034 --> 00:11:34,586 - Team Viper Snake Squad. 313 00:11:34,655 --> 00:11:36,310 - No, no. It would be under the umbrella of-- 314 00:11:36,379 --> 00:11:37,448 - Rowdy Boys. - Rowdy Boys. That's it. 315 00:11:37,517 --> 00:11:39,068 - Rowdy Boys. - Rowdy Boys. 316 00:11:39,137 --> 00:11:40,517 - Yeah, we're the Rowdy Boys. - Guys, look. 317 00:11:40,586 --> 00:11:43,034 I think you'll find it's a generous buyout fee, okay? 318 00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:44,689 Not to mention a bump in salary, 319 00:11:44,758 --> 00:11:47,551 and you'd have all of Doner's resources at your disposal. 320 00:11:49,413 --> 00:11:51,241 Seriously, you got something. 321 00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:54,172 You made the worst lawyer in town look cool. 322 00:11:54,241 --> 00:11:56,310 - I don't know if he's the worst. 323 00:11:56,379 --> 00:11:58,482 - He's pretty bad. My cousin got bit by a dog. 324 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,137 He couldn't do anything for him. 325 00:12:00,206 --> 00:12:02,068 - I thought he was a mack at dog bites. 326 00:12:02,137 --> 00:12:03,620 - That's what he said. 327 00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:05,896 - Guys, think about it. Talk to your lawyer. 328 00:12:05,965 --> 00:12:07,137 Sleep on it. 329 00:12:07,206 --> 00:12:09,068 - Well, I mean I'd rather sleep in a bed. 330 00:12:09,137 --> 00:12:11,000 [laughter] Not my best. 331 00:12:11,068 --> 00:12:13,448 I'm a little overwhelmed, so who cares? 332 00:12:13,517 --> 00:12:16,896 - Oh, my God. 333 00:12:16,965 --> 00:12:18,551 - Oh. - Oh, yeah. 334 00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:20,137 - I ate her medicine. 335 00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:22,068 And you should probably call a doctor for her. 336 00:12:22,137 --> 00:12:23,689 - Dani. 337 00:12:23,758 --> 00:12:26,000 - Ooh, you like her. 338 00:12:26,068 --> 00:12:27,517 [taps gavel] - Next! 339 00:12:27,586 --> 00:12:31,482 - Case 2251: The People vs. Sheila Portnadi. 340 00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:34,689 Miss Portnadi was pulled over on Cass Avenue, 341 00:12:34,758 --> 00:12:37,655 and her BAL was .09. 342 00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:39,275 - Counselor. 343 00:12:39,344 --> 00:12:43,551 - Your Honor, I'm not here to try my worst. 344 00:12:43,620 --> 00:12:45,689 [laughter] 345 00:12:45,758 --> 00:12:48,379 All right, settle down, everybody. 346 00:12:48,448 --> 00:12:51,965 Your Honor, look at my client. 347 00:12:52,034 --> 00:12:53,827 Now close your eyes. 348 00:12:53,896 --> 00:12:57,137 And imagine my client is not a woman, but a man. 349 00:12:57,206 --> 00:12:58,551 And black. 350 00:12:58,620 --> 00:13:01,413 And named Barack Obama. - Your Honor-- 351 00:13:01,482 --> 00:13:03,241 - And imagine that this arresting officer 352 00:13:03,310 --> 00:13:04,551 is a dog, Your Honor. 353 00:13:04,620 --> 00:13:06,896 Well, Your Honor, this dog bit my client. 354 00:13:06,965 --> 00:13:08,344 - Mr. Worsch. 355 00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:10,103 - Your Honor, I'm only... 356 00:13:10,172 --> 00:13:12,689 ♪ Trying my best ♪ 357 00:13:12,758 --> 00:13:14,551 [cheering] 358 00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:16,413 - 16 hours community service. 359 00:13:16,482 --> 00:13:18,448 And Ms. Portnadi, in the future, 360 00:13:18,517 --> 00:13:21,172 take a cab, or get a better lawyer. 361 00:13:21,241 --> 00:13:22,724 [gavel taps] Next. 362 00:13:24,551 --> 00:13:27,448 - 16 hours of community service. 363 00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:28,896 - Ah, Sheila. It won't be that bad. 364 00:13:28,965 --> 00:13:31,586 - It'll just be mowing the median on 75. 365 00:13:31,655 --> 00:13:33,206 - Whoa, Walt, she's pretty old. 366 00:13:33,275 --> 00:13:35,448 - Yeah, well, it's the best I could do. 367 00:13:35,517 --> 00:13:36,758 - Hey, Walt, while we have you, 368 00:13:36,827 --> 00:13:38,206 can we get your legal advice on something? 369 00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:40,172 - Yeah, can you take a look at this contract? 370 00:13:40,241 --> 00:13:41,448 It's an offer to buy our company. 371 00:13:41,517 --> 00:13:42,862 - Who offered to buy the company? 372 00:13:42,931 --> 00:13:44,137 - Ryan Lepchek from Doner. 373 00:13:44,206 --> 00:13:45,965 - When did this happen? - Earlier today. 374 00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,551 What do you think, Walt? 375 00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:50,172 - Doner has way more money and way smarter people than you. 376 00:13:50,241 --> 00:13:51,448 So if this deal is good on their end, 377 00:13:51,517 --> 00:13:53,034 it's probably bad on your end. 378 00:13:53,103 --> 00:13:55,586 - Oh, well, couldn't it be a good deal for both of us? 379 00:13:55,655 --> 00:13:58,965 - Are they smarter or are you smarter? 380 00:13:59,034 --> 00:14:00,310 - They're smarter, sir. 381 00:14:00,379 --> 00:14:03,379 - Then, no. Hey, you know what? 382 00:14:03,448 --> 00:14:05,931 Let's make this a working lunch. 383 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,241 How about Zoup, you two? 384 00:14:07,310 --> 00:14:08,379 - Ooh. - Yeah. 385 00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,241 - Sheila, good luck on 75. 386 00:14:10,310 --> 00:14:13,241 Bring a hat, because it gets so hot out there. 387 00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:16,758 [upbeat music] 388 00:14:16,827 --> 00:14:21,551 ♪ ♪ 389 00:14:21,620 --> 00:14:23,379 - The testimonials aren't working. 390 00:14:23,448 --> 00:14:25,068 I can't find any cool kids here. 391 00:14:25,137 --> 00:14:26,965 - How about that guy? 392 00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:28,448 - Ugh. 393 00:14:28,517 --> 00:14:32,275 I wouldn't jerk that guy off with Freddy Krueger's hand. 394 00:14:32,344 --> 00:14:33,551 - You just like come up with that? 395 00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:34,724 Was that a joke? 396 00:14:34,793 --> 00:14:36,827 - Yeah. - Like a prepared joke? 397 00:14:36,896 --> 00:14:38,586 - I just thought of it. - Nobody just talks like that. 398 00:14:38,655 --> 00:14:40,034 - Nobody talks like that, 399 00:14:40,103 --> 00:14:41,689 and plus it doesn't even make sense. 400 00:14:41,758 --> 00:14:43,482 Like Freddy Krueger's hand, like, the palm is still good. 401 00:14:43,551 --> 00:14:45,310 - Yeah, the palm does all the jerking off. 402 00:14:45,379 --> 00:14:47,620 - Enough. - Well, you got to find somebody. 403 00:14:47,689 --> 00:14:49,172 We told them we'd find testimonials 404 00:14:49,241 --> 00:14:50,758 of people saying science is cool. 405 00:14:50,827 --> 00:14:53,724 And it's not gonna be convincing coming from a dork. 406 00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:55,758 - Is it true you guys are selling the company? 407 00:14:55,827 --> 00:14:57,517 - Well, we'll let you know when we've made a decision. 408 00:14:57,586 --> 00:14:59,379 Thank you very much, Lea. 409 00:14:59,448 --> 00:15:01,896 - Thank you. - Thank you very much. 410 00:15:01,965 --> 00:15:04,137 - I just don't think there's any amount of money 411 00:15:04,206 --> 00:15:06,413 that would allow me to take my dad's name off the wall. 412 00:15:06,482 --> 00:15:08,137 It's been there for 50 years. 413 00:15:08,206 --> 00:15:09,275 - Well, we say we want to return 414 00:15:09,344 --> 00:15:10,689 the company to its former glory. 415 00:15:10,758 --> 00:15:12,724 This would do that. - Tommy's freaking out. 416 00:15:12,793 --> 00:15:14,103 - Why, what's up? 417 00:15:14,172 --> 00:15:16,103 - He keeps saying how none of this is in the Bible. 418 00:15:16,172 --> 00:15:18,862 [whooshes] 419 00:15:20,448 --> 00:15:21,551 [upbeat music] 420 00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:23,827 - Get the edge, Portnadi! 421 00:15:23,896 --> 00:15:26,206 What is wrong with your head? Get the edge! 422 00:15:26,275 --> 00:15:28,724 They not gonna hit you! Get the edge! 423 00:15:28,793 --> 00:15:29,758 - I'm scared! 424 00:15:29,827 --> 00:15:30,896 - Oh, you're scared-scared, huh? 425 00:15:30,965 --> 00:15:32,206 You should've thought about that 426 00:15:32,275 --> 00:15:33,896 before you drove drunk-drunk. 427 00:15:33,965 --> 00:15:35,241 Get that edge! 428 00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:37,862 Get that mower on that edge! 429 00:15:40,344 --> 00:15:41,344 - Okay, now this is a work in progress. 430 00:15:41,413 --> 00:15:43,000 - Unless, of course, you like it. 431 00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:44,517 - Yeah, if you like it, it can be the finished product. 432 00:15:44,586 --> 00:15:48,275 - Yeah. [laughter] 433 00:15:48,344 --> 00:15:50,310 - Come on down to the Michigan Science Center, 434 00:15:50,379 --> 00:15:52,793 where science is cool. 435 00:15:52,862 --> 00:15:55,103 - This is fun, and I'm not even a nerd! 436 00:15:55,172 --> 00:15:58,344 - The word dork actually means whale penis. 437 00:15:58,413 --> 00:16:00,758 So I'm definitely not a dork. 438 00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:02,724 - Do I look like a whale penis? 439 00:16:02,793 --> 00:16:04,448 - [together] We're not dorks! 440 00:16:04,517 --> 00:16:06,379 - Would a dork do this? 441 00:16:08,896 --> 00:16:11,310 - And even if you are a dork--- I'm not a dork! 442 00:16:11,379 --> 00:16:13,793 - The Michigan Science Center is a bully-free zone. 443 00:16:13,862 --> 00:16:16,034 Our security guards are former bullies themselves. 444 00:16:16,103 --> 00:16:17,551 So they know what to look for. 445 00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:20,172 - Hey, watch out. I want to do it. 446 00:16:20,241 --> 00:16:21,655 Hey, get your hands off me! 447 00:16:21,724 --> 00:16:23,689 [exaggerated punching noise] Visit today! 448 00:16:23,758 --> 00:16:26,724 It's not just for dorks and nerds anymore! 449 00:16:29,793 --> 00:16:32,344 - I thought you said you were gonna get real testimonials. 450 00:16:32,413 --> 00:16:33,896 - We couldn't get any good ones. 451 00:16:33,965 --> 00:16:36,931 - Yeah, besides, these actors seem very real. 452 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,310 - No, they don't. 453 00:16:38,379 --> 00:16:40,586 - And not to mention you portrayed a Science Center 454 00:16:40,655 --> 00:16:42,034 employee hitting a child. 455 00:16:42,103 --> 00:16:45,137 - A child bully. It's a very important distinction. 456 00:16:45,206 --> 00:16:46,965 - Maybe we need to start looking for a different firm. 457 00:16:47,034 --> 00:16:49,137 - No, don't do that in front of us. 458 00:16:49,206 --> 00:16:50,862 I told you this is a work in progress. 459 00:16:50,931 --> 00:16:53,862 - Look, Cramblin Duvet is as professional as any big firm. 460 00:16:53,931 --> 00:16:56,172 - How about we set up a meeting for next week? 461 00:16:56,241 --> 00:16:57,620 Sheila, can you come in here? 462 00:16:57,689 --> 00:16:59,551 We'll have a whole new concept for you. 463 00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:00,931 - Are you sure you're capable 464 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,413 of delivering a Science Center worthy ad? 465 00:17:03,482 --> 00:17:05,000 - No, they can't. 466 00:17:05,068 --> 00:17:07,965 These two guys are pieces of shit. 467 00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:12,241 - [chuckles nervously] - What? 468 00:17:12,310 --> 00:17:14,551 - I can assure you that we are not. 469 00:17:14,620 --> 00:17:16,068 - She just got a DUI. 470 00:17:16,137 --> 00:17:18,793 - Guys, look, going with you guys 471 00:17:18,862 --> 00:17:21,034 was kind of just an experiment on our part. 472 00:17:21,103 --> 00:17:23,275 We just wanted to try something fun and kitschy, 473 00:17:23,344 --> 00:17:25,241 but let's just face it, okay? 474 00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:29,034 We're the Science Center, and, frankly, you're not. 475 00:17:30,206 --> 00:17:32,517 - That is devastating. 476 00:17:32,586 --> 00:17:35,413 [funky music] 477 00:17:35,482 --> 00:17:37,758 ♪ ♪ 478 00:17:37,827 --> 00:17:41,000 - ♪ That's not enough baby ♪ 479 00:17:41,068 --> 00:17:42,034 ♪ No ♪ 480 00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:46,137 ♪ ♪ 481 00:17:46,206 --> 00:17:48,620 - We're sorry we hired you a terrible lawyer. 482 00:17:48,689 --> 00:17:51,344 - We wanted his business, and we were assholes. 483 00:17:51,413 --> 00:17:52,551 Please forgive us. 484 00:17:52,620 --> 00:17:54,965 - You were raging assholes. 485 00:17:55,034 --> 00:17:57,034 And you want to know what really pisses me off? 486 00:17:57,103 --> 00:17:59,758 I worked for this company for 50 years, 487 00:17:59,827 --> 00:18:02,172 and you never once asked me what I thought 488 00:18:02,241 --> 00:18:03,517 about you selling it. 489 00:18:03,586 --> 00:18:05,344 When Big Hank left, 490 00:18:05,413 --> 00:18:08,310 I was the only employee who stuck with you. 491 00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:11,862 Now you just treat me like some old lady you have to deal with. 492 00:18:13,517 --> 00:18:14,965 - You're right. 493 00:18:15,034 --> 00:18:17,137 - We're two idiots who you call gentlemen every day. 494 00:18:17,206 --> 00:18:19,586 - You mean the world to us, Sheila. 495 00:18:19,655 --> 00:18:21,379 And we'll do whatever it takes to show you 496 00:18:21,448 --> 00:18:22,517 what you mean to the company. 497 00:18:22,586 --> 00:18:23,620 - Make me a partner. 498 00:18:23,689 --> 00:18:24,896 - [laughs] - A partner? 499 00:18:24,965 --> 00:18:26,896 - No! - What are you talking about? 500 00:18:26,965 --> 00:18:28,379 [laughter] 501 00:18:28,448 --> 00:18:29,896 - Sorry. - Sorry. 502 00:18:29,965 --> 00:18:31,896 - We weren't expecting that. We got a little overwhelmed. 503 00:18:31,965 --> 00:18:33,517 - Yeah, you really had that locked and loaded, didn't you? 504 00:18:33,586 --> 00:18:35,448 - I have given it a lot of thought. 505 00:18:35,517 --> 00:18:38,793 ♪ ♪ 506 00:18:38,862 --> 00:18:41,310 - We'll make you a partner. - Silent partner. 507 00:18:41,379 --> 00:18:45,344 - And I'll be involved with all the major decisions? 508 00:18:45,413 --> 00:18:47,034 - Starting with the big one. 509 00:18:47,103 --> 00:18:48,620 ♪ ♪ 510 00:18:48,689 --> 00:18:51,965 We've thought long and hard about your offer. 511 00:18:52,034 --> 00:18:56,517 - Yes, and this is the amount that we are willing 512 00:18:56,586 --> 00:18:58,724 to sell our company for. 513 00:18:58,793 --> 00:19:02,068 - Yes. Yeah. That's good. 514 00:19:02,137 --> 00:19:04,000 Here you go. 515 00:19:05,379 --> 00:19:07,275 Okay, I'll give it to you. 516 00:19:07,344 --> 00:19:10,000 Excuse me. 517 00:19:10,068 --> 00:19:12,931 Sorry. 518 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,000 Don't act like it hurt, you idiot. 519 00:19:16,068 --> 00:19:18,310 That's good. There we go. 520 00:19:23,724 --> 00:19:24,965 - What is this? 521 00:19:25,034 --> 00:19:26,758 - That is a middle finger, butt-munch. 522 00:19:26,827 --> 00:19:28,379 - Thank you for the offer and everything. 523 00:19:28,448 --> 00:19:31,448 - But it's a respectful no. 524 00:19:31,517 --> 00:19:33,758 - That felt good. 525 00:19:33,827 --> 00:19:35,793 - Nice work, partner. 526 00:19:35,862 --> 00:19:37,310 You good to drive? 527 00:19:37,379 --> 00:19:39,931 - Oh, yeah. 528 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:44,034 - ♪ I can laugh I can smile ♪ 529 00:19:44,103 --> 00:19:48,344 ♪ Hold my head way up high ♪ 530 00:19:48,413 --> 00:19:51,517 ♪ Baby it's all ♪ 531 00:19:51,586 --> 00:19:56,586 ♪ All because of you ♪ 532 00:19:59,103 --> 00:20:01,000 - Sheila, could you come in here for a second, please? 533 00:20:04,275 --> 00:20:07,068 - Sheila, years ago, you did some work for this company 534 00:20:07,137 --> 00:20:11,379 that went uncredited, and we would like to fix that. 535 00:20:11,448 --> 00:20:12,655 - Here's the check 536 00:20:12,724 --> 00:20:13,689 you should've been paid 40 years ago. 537 00:20:13,758 --> 00:20:16,586 - Inflation not included. 538 00:20:16,655 --> 00:20:19,758 - Oh, thank you, gentlemen. 539 00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:21,034 How do I cash it? 540 00:20:21,103 --> 00:20:22,965 - Oh, you don't. It's like a ceremonial... 541 00:20:23,034 --> 00:20:24,724 - Do I take the whole thing to the bank? 542 00:20:24,793 --> 00:20:27,137 - Wait, just don't cash it. It's like for you to have. 543 00:20:27,206 --> 00:20:28,551 - Yeah, you just put it on the wall or something. 544 00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:29,931 - Oh. 545 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,931 - And we have another surprise for you. 546 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,310 I found Tim and Sam's April in the D video, 547 00:20:34,379 --> 00:20:36,275 and it really sucks. 548 00:20:36,344 --> 00:20:37,379 - No way it sucks. 549 00:20:38,931 --> 00:20:41,034 - ♪ April in the D April in the D ♪ 550 00:20:41,103 --> 00:20:43,172 ♪ April in the D April in the D ♪ 551 00:20:43,241 --> 00:20:45,724 ♪ You got the Tigers, the Pistons, the Red Wings, B ♪ 552 00:20:45,793 --> 00:20:48,344 ♪ Everything you want right here in the D ♪ 553 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:50,551 ♪ Hardwood, ice, and so much grass ♪ 554 00:20:50,620 --> 00:20:53,034 ♪ Slapshots, hits, and bouncing chest pass ♪ 555 00:20:53,103 --> 00:20:55,241 ♪ April in the D April in the D ♪ 556 00:20:55,310 --> 00:20:57,655 ♪ April in the D April in the D ♪ 557 00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:59,724 ♪ Three teams ♪ 558 00:20:59,793 --> 00:21:02,103 ♪ Three leagues ♪ 559 00:21:02,172 --> 00:21:04,413 ♪ One dream ♪ 560 00:21:07,172 --> 00:21:09,655 - What are you laughing at? Sorry it's not Bing Crosby. 561 00:21:09,724 --> 00:21:11,137 - ♪ One Dream ♪ 562 00:21:13,965 --> 00:21:16,482 ♪ Three teams Three leagues ♪ 563 00:21:16,551 --> 00:21:18,931 ♪ One dream ♪